I chopped off all my hair. For cancer. It felt great, to do a good deed.
Unfortunately, I lost my security blanket in the process.
My face looks round;
fat.
I look like a 30-year-old,
fat, soccer mom.
I used to look like a flirty,
fat, cute, 18-year-old.
If i'm going to be fat, i'd prefer to at least look cute while trying to be thin.
On top of all of this I feel like I am drowning.
I got drunk and cheated on the love of my fucking life.
University mistake number one.
We broke up,
obviously.
Because I'm a drunken whore.
Because he can do so much better.
Because the distance was too much to handle.
That led to a break-up binge of epic proportions.
University mistake number two.
I chopped of my Blake Lively-esque hair.
I lost the
only attractive quality I had.
It was for a good cause, yes. But the minimum donation is 5 inches. I should never have let the stylist talk me into chopping
it all off and donating
15 inches of hair
University mistake number 3.
In my depression brought on by single-dom and a lesbian hair-cut, I have been binging.
a lot.
and therefore purging.
a lot.
I am irritable.
stressed.
on edge.
lonely.
home sick.
physically sick.
mentally sick.
exhausted.
dizzy.
dehydrated.
frustrated.
ugly.
fat.
My throat hurts, my knuckles are scabbed, I have what feels like never ending heart-burn.
I need help. I need a friend.
I
need to be skinny.
I need to stop shoving food down my throat.
I cannot purge anymore, my body can't take it.
I don't know what to do. Sometimes when I purge, I pray that my esophagus ruptures so my lungs can fill with vomit and I can just be done with it all.
